Sleep issues are common in the developing toddler. They range from problems going to sleep at night, to waking at night, and getting up too early. These problems are a normal part of development, and can be resolved in handled correctly.
Waking Because Of Discomfort
It is important to assess whether or not your toddler is waking because of discomfort. Is he teething? Is he ill or has he recently recovered from an illness? If so, then his immediate needs require being addressed. Once those needs are met, if he is usually a good sleeper, then he will eventually return to his normal sleep patterns.
Staying In Bed
This is a common problem in many households. In fact, over the years I've watched each employer I've had struggle with this issue of keeping their children in bed at night.
Establish a routine! It is so important to establish a comfortable nighttime routine that becomes familiar to the child. Allow time for him to settle down and calm his body. Begin immediately after dinner by giving him a bath, putting on his pajamas, combing his hair and brushing his teeth. Then allow him to watch a video, read books to him, or simply cuddle with him. Do not allow him to run around, drag out the toys, or be rambunctious! Insist that he remain calm. Fifteen minutes before bedtime, send him to the bathroom, and then tell him to get in bed. Allow him to take a sippy cup of water to bed (no juice or milk). Prayers are in important part of some family routines. Be sure to say something like, "I want you to stay in your bed. If you get out of bed, I am not going to talk with you. I will bring you back to your bed and put you back in it." Then give him a kiss on the cheek, tell him you love him, and then it is lights out.
If he is like most children, you will soon hear the pitter patter of little feet. This is where most parents and caregivers get it wrong. Do not engage in conversation with him (assuming there is no dire emergency). Silently and calmly walk him back to his room, put him in the bed and leave. You may have to do this twenty times a night (or more) for the first week or so.
Do not fret! Eventually he will begin to stay in his bed. It takes commitment on the caregiver's part to teach healthy sleep habits to a small child. Granted, it is so much easier to just let him fall asleep in front of the TV and then carry him to his room and put him in the bed. However, it is in his best interest to help him develop health sleep habits that carry into adulthood!
I have found that with some children, it is helpful to have a special toy or blanket that is only associated with "going to sleep" time. This may be a soft blanket, favorite Teddy Bear, or a glow-in-the-dark Care Bear.
Waking Up At Night
Even children with healthy sleep patterns may go through periods where they start waking up at night. I have noticed that this often happens when they are entering a new development stage, such as learning to talk. For example, a two year old that I nannied for began waking up and wanting to talk about anything and everything as his skills progressed. If a new skill is the cause of night waking, then it will probably correct itself.
Some toddlers wake up at night wanting to eat. If this is the case, then they are long overdue for being weaned from night feedings. Do not give them milk or juice to drink in bed. only water. Chances are they will not drink it all before going to sleep, so if they wake up thirsty, they will still have their drink. Make sure that they get plenty to eat during the day and keep meals on a schedule.
Waking Because Of Discomfort
It is important to assess whether or not your toddler is waking because of discomfort. Is he teething? Is he ill or has he recently recovered from an illness? If so, then his immediate needs require being addressed. Once those needs are met, if he is usually a good sleeper, then he will eventually return to his normal sleep patterns.
Staying In Bed
This is a common problem in many households. In fact, over the years I've watched each employer I've had struggle with this issue of keeping their children in bed at night.
Establish a routine! It is so important to establish a comfortable nighttime routine that becomes familiar to the child. Allow time for him to settle down and calm his body. Begin immediately after dinner by giving him a bath, putting on his pajamas, combing his hair and brushing his teeth. Then allow him to watch a video, read books to him, or simply cuddle with him. Do not allow him to run around, drag out the toys, or be rambunctious! Insist that he remain calm. Fifteen minutes before bedtime, send him to the bathroom, and then tell him to get in bed. Allow him to take a sippy cup of water to bed (no juice or milk). Prayers are in important part of some family routines. Be sure to say something like, "I want you to stay in your bed. If you get out of bed, I am not going to talk with you. I will bring you back to your bed and put you back in it." Then give him a kiss on the cheek, tell him you love him, and then it is lights out.
If he is like most children, you will soon hear the pitter patter of little feet. This is where most parents and caregivers get it wrong. Do not engage in conversation with him (assuming there is no dire emergency). Silently and calmly walk him back to his room, put him in the bed and leave. You may have to do this twenty times a night (or more) for the first week or so.
Do not fret! Eventually he will begin to stay in his bed. It takes commitment on the caregiver's part to teach healthy sleep habits to a small child. Granted, it is so much easier to just let him fall asleep in front of the TV and then carry him to his room and put him in the bed. However, it is in his best interest to help him develop health sleep habits that carry into adulthood!
I have found that with some children, it is helpful to have a special toy or blanket that is only associated with "going to sleep" time. This may be a soft blanket, favorite Teddy Bear, or a glow-in-the-dark Care Bear.
Waking Up At Night
Even children with healthy sleep patterns may go through periods where they start waking up at night. I have noticed that this often happens when they are entering a new development stage, such as learning to talk. For example, a two year old that I nannied for began waking up and wanting to talk about anything and everything as his skills progressed. If a new skill is the cause of night waking, then it will probably correct itself.
Some toddlers wake up at night wanting to eat. If this is the case, then they are long overdue for being weaned from night feedings. Do not give them milk or juice to drink in bed. only water. Chances are they will not drink it all before going to sleep, so if they wake up thirsty, they will still have their drink. Make sure that they get plenty to eat during the day and keep meals on a schedule.
Avoid crutches! Lying down with a child who wakes up during the night gives him a crutch to get him back to sleep. It is important to teach him to put himself to sleep. If you put him down at night with a soft blanket or a favorite teddy bear, then when he wakes up at night, he can use that as a comfort and fall back asleep.
If waking up at night continues to be a problem, then consider reducing his nap times during the day. It may be that he has entered a stage where he only needs one nap a day instead of two. He may only need a one hour nap instead of a two hour nap. Reduce naps 15 minutes at a time until he is sleeping through the night. Another route is to move his bedtime back 15 minutes at a time until he is able to sleep at night.
Waking Up Too Early
This sleep problem can often be corrected with one simple change: make the room darker. This can be done with dark shades/blinds or by hanging heavy drapes on the windows. If the sun is shining in his room early each morning, then he is going to think it is time to get up!
If he continues to get up, then you may consider gating off his room and leaving safe toys for him to play with until the rest of the family is up. You do not want a wandering toddler in the house when everyone is asleep. This could be very dangerous!
I have found that children who get up early often start sleeping later when they begin preschool. Perhaps this is because they are getting a lot of physical activity during the day which makes them want to sleep longer.
Never Tired
If your child never seems tired, and illness has been ruled out, then chances are he is not getting enough stimulation during the day. A routine needs to be established and physical play needs to be encouraged. It may help to cut or reduce daytime naps and reduce sugar intake.
Fear of Monsters
All children go through periods where they are afraid of monsters. Toddlers do not yet have the ability to distinguish between reality verses fantasy, and monsters are very real to them. It is important to never ridicule a child for his fears! Encourage him to talk about his fears and listen to him with sincerity!
A simple way to handle this fear is to go into his room alone after dark, lay down in his bed with the lights out and look around with a child's eyes. Do you notice shadows on the wall? Does the street light look eerie coming through the windows? Does the coat stand look like a monster? Once you see his room through a child's eyes, you will be able to make adjustments to that his room is more comfortable at night. Playing a soothing CD can help him sleep. Sometimes heavy blinds reduce shadows from outside. A nightlight can work wonders, especially if you take him shopping to pick it out himself.
I recently purchased a special flashlight for a two-year old who is "scared of monsters". It is a dinosaur flashlight. The dinosaur's mouth opens at the press of a button (the flashlight is in the mouth) and makes a big roaring sound. The thought is that the dinosaur's roar will scare off any monsters. He is now able to sleep with his flashlight "friend", and if he wakes up and is afraid, he has it right there with him.
Keeping a routine, even during this difficult time, is especially important. Consistency is key. If you change his routine, that may aid his fears. However, if you keep doing the same thing and show him there is nothing to be afraid of, he will be closer to sweet dreams and healthy sleep habits!
If waking up at night continues to be a problem, then consider reducing his nap times during the day. It may be that he has entered a stage where he only needs one nap a day instead of two. He may only need a one hour nap instead of a two hour nap. Reduce naps 15 minutes at a time until he is sleeping through the night. Another route is to move his bedtime back 15 minutes at a time until he is able to sleep at night.
Waking Up Too Early
This sleep problem can often be corrected with one simple change: make the room darker. This can be done with dark shades/blinds or by hanging heavy drapes on the windows. If the sun is shining in his room early each morning, then he is going to think it is time to get up!
If he continues to get up, then you may consider gating off his room and leaving safe toys for him to play with until the rest of the family is up. You do not want a wandering toddler in the house when everyone is asleep. This could be very dangerous!
I have found that children who get up early often start sleeping later when they begin preschool. Perhaps this is because they are getting a lot of physical activity during the day which makes them want to sleep longer.
Never Tired
If your child never seems tired, and illness has been ruled out, then chances are he is not getting enough stimulation during the day. A routine needs to be established and physical play needs to be encouraged. It may help to cut or reduce daytime naps and reduce sugar intake.
Fear of Monsters
All children go through periods where they are afraid of monsters. Toddlers do not yet have the ability to distinguish between reality verses fantasy, and monsters are very real to them. It is important to never ridicule a child for his fears! Encourage him to talk about his fears and listen to him with sincerity!
A simple way to handle this fear is to go into his room alone after dark, lay down in his bed with the lights out and look around with a child's eyes. Do you notice shadows on the wall? Does the street light look eerie coming through the windows? Does the coat stand look like a monster? Once you see his room through a child's eyes, you will be able to make adjustments to that his room is more comfortable at night. Playing a soothing CD can help him sleep. Sometimes heavy blinds reduce shadows from outside. A nightlight can work wonders, especially if you take him shopping to pick it out himself.
I recently purchased a special flashlight for a two-year old who is "scared of monsters". It is a dinosaur flashlight. The dinosaur's mouth opens at the press of a button (the flashlight is in the mouth) and makes a big roaring sound. The thought is that the dinosaur's roar will scare off any monsters. He is now able to sleep with his flashlight "friend", and if he wakes up and is afraid, he has it right there with him.
Keeping a routine, even during this difficult time, is especially important. Consistency is key. If you change his routine, that may aid his fears. However, if you keep doing the same thing and show him there is nothing to be afraid of, he will be closer to sweet dreams and healthy sleep habits!
Copyright Jennie Krogulski, 2008
